La Tua Cantante
by lorrenlikespie
Summary: Cocky, funny, Bella. Clumsy, Embarrassing Edward. They fall in love. Edward's POV
1. Willpower

The dim light in the window made it clear that it was time for me to get ready for school. At least I didn't have to worry about adjusting to the waking up schedule for high school. High school. I cringed at the thought of having to go through another year of it. Regretfully enough, I was able to read people's minds. Bubbling giddy school girls, having lusty thoughts about me, their boyfriends having the same amount of thoughts involving me, only of hatred while they watched their girls gawk at me.

I hopped off the couch, and unsurprisingly I tripped over my sneaker. Yes, how could I forget? _I'm Edward Cullen, the most clumsiest vampire ever. _and turned on my radio, the relaxing sound of classical music filled the air. A good thing about being centuries old, is that you have enough time to work and get an enormous amount of money. My stereo speakers filled the air in which seemed like Claire Debussy was playing the piano in my room. I pulled out a grey sweater and jeans for my outfit. Alice would criticize my lack of style sense. Who cares? It's not like anyone would be feeding me any compliments on my "stylish clothing". The human race fled from us like the plague. Regardless of our remarkable beauty, grace, and agility, mankind stood clear from us. That doesn't matter though, I wouldn't know what to say if even the most beautiful girl came up to me, or the most popular boy. Truth is, I didn't relate to anyone, people as well as vampires. Edward, hurry up. We're going to be late. Rosalie had to be in a rush, she probably started getting ready in the middle of the night, primping and doing all sorts of ridiculous things to herself just to look good for school. I slid on my Adidas sneaker and headed out of the door.

The air was moist and the wind felt warm against my icy marble like skin. The sky was grey and there were puddles on the sidewalk. Forks, I thought to myself, one of my favorite places to live. We can actually be spotted by the public in the daytime. I spotted a deer in the midst of eating grass, and as we made eye contact, it jerked its head back, and ran away. Good job, little doe. I got into my Volvo and put the key in the ignition. Rolling steadily out of the driveway, I waved goodbye to Carlisle and Esme, my mother and father-like figures. As I got into the main road, I drove increasingly faster. I love the exhilaration of driving fast, the rush, its almost like running, my second nature. Coming closer to town, I heard an almost familiar voice thinking. _I hope she likes the school here. All the kids have grown up together, Bella will be an outsider. I wonder if she will fit in. She can cook very well though, these eggs are delicious, _I guess Charlie Swan, the chief police officer of Forks, has his daughter coming to school. That's almost interesting, an outsider, like us. Certainly not entirely like us, but an outsider? Yes. Swerving and speeding across the highway in and out of cars, I felt a twinge of nervousness. I don't understand why I get nervous before the first day of school, I guess it goes along with the shyness, quietness, clumsiness...

Heading off the Forks Highschool Exit on the highway, I could hear all of the excited students thoughts from here. Everyone couldn't wait to get back to school. Everyone but I.. I parked in a strategic spot under a willow tree, so I could sit and listen to a CD before the bell rings without being noticed.

"So, Edward " Emmett exclaimed, "Are you ready to see all of these hot mama's at Forks High School? I heard there was a new girl coming new meat. You going to pounce on that?" Rosalie, irritated, smacked him in the back of the head.

"No Emmett, I haven't seen her yet, and I'm certainly not searching for her either." Why would I do that? She's just another girl that I can easily figure out by reading her thoughts. Like an open book, waiting to be read. I got out of the car and got my shoelace stuck on a random handle sticking out of my seat, and I fell into a puddle._ Great, looks like I wet my pants. _Wonderful way to start a new school year I'm going to smell like dirty water all day. It'll probably be the most perfumed smell to my nose, all of these humans smell the same. I helped Alice and Rosalie get their backpacks from the trunk, and we set off towards the main office to get our schedules.

The air in the office was warmer than I suspected, quit the difference from the moist cool air outside. A plump woman with a purple t shirt on peered up at us. Her mouth slightly parted when she eyed us. _My, my my These children are gorgeous And what peculiar colored eyes Oh, I've been staring! _Yeah, you have been. "Could we possibly have our schedules? We didn't receive them in the mail, so I thought you might have extras stowed away in your cabinets." I smiled hesitantly at her, and my elbow slightly slid off the counter, I caught myself in the middle of falling. _Thats a first, I thought._

She gleamed as I smiled at her, "Of course, dear here you are, Rosalie and Jasper Hale, and Alice, Emmett, and Edward Cullen. I remember your names from the student booklets, such interesting names " I nodded and headed for the door. My family followed. _Be careful today, Edward. I've been seeing some weird things. I can't tell what it is yet, someone's mind keeps changing. Whatever they are thinking of doing, it is really bloody. _Alice thought, I wonder what she could be seeing. I could almost smell the blood in her thoughts, It smelled sweet. I'm not hungry, I thought. So why did the blood in Alice's vision smell so different than everyone around school already? Had we gone on an emergency hunting trip?

My first class was American History 2. Easy, I was probably around for half the stuff we're going to learn I could easily day dream in that class. The late bell rang as I was about 2 feet away. Crap, I thought, I'm going to be embarrassed. I opened the door and my heel got caught in the doorstopper, I trotted awkwardly in the room. I was the last one in the class, one seat left, in the back. My usual spot, thank goodness it's not taken.

"Nice of you to join us," said the teacher, as he glanced over his attendance chart. "Edward Cullen is it?"

"That is me." I said, my voice sort of cracked when I said me. I heard a few stray giggles and snorts coming from across the room. Faint whispers and notes were being thrown across the room. I put my head down on the cool desk, and looked out the window. Rain drops on the window were making sounds that were almost relaxing, and I knew if I could, I would be sleeping. She is so hot I wonder where she is from. _Did you see the curves? Damn! _A boy sitting across the room thought as he glanced outside. A girl with dark brown hair, cascading down her shoulders and down to the small of her back was walking by the room outside of the window. She was wearing a mini skirt, sweater, and flip flops. Interesting outfit, I thought to myself. Why was I judging the way she dressed? I looked down at myself, the puddle stain still there, I looked like an idiot. As the girl was passing, she turned and smiled at me. Her cheeks were scarlet red, as if stained with blush for eternity. She had chocolate eyes and full lips. She was plain, but pretty I suppose. She must have been the new girl._ Jesus Christ They don't make them like that anymore! _Another boy thought. I sighed, every single boy in this school would probably be thinking the same thoughts of her just because she was a new face. I bet all the regular popular girls will be jealous. The bell almost startled me, I swiftly got out of my desk and made my way for the door.

Art class. I never really understood the whole concept of having art class, no one really cares about it. I mean, some people do care about art, as in I do. Certainly not the kind we do here though, still life, and finger-painting, isn't exactly my style. I took my seat near the teacher and read over the supplies we were supposed to get._ Markers, Crayola crayons, watercolors, aisles, yada yada yada_, I thought, I'm so glad this class is only 25 minutes long. As if it were cued, the bell rang at that time. Lunch was next, I could sit and chat with my family. I entered the cafeteria and scanned the briefly familiar faces of Forks High School. _Edward Cullen apparently has not changed a bit over the summer, still hot as ever _Lauren, a familiar gawking girl, was staring at me. I wanted to snarl at her, show her I wasn't meant to be stared at. If she only knew the real me, the monster I really was. The new girl was walking with Jessica Stanley, an almost harmless figure. She sat down at a near empty table, and began discussing where she used to live. I could hear Jessica's thoughts clear, wondering why she moved here, how she was so open to everyone, and where she got her nearly microscopic skirt. Bella, what a pretty name, Jessica thought. It truly was a pretty name. Short for Isabella, probably, pretty name for a pretty girl. _Yes! She's sitting with Jess I can squeeze in with them, maybe squeeze in a little date with Bella. How about it, sweet thing? _Mike Newton, I almost cringed at the name. He was such a vile creature, a womanizing prick. He despised me since his little ex fling Lauren had a thing for me, little did she know I didn't fancy her kind. _Oh, him? That's Edward Cullen. Don't even think about it girl, you might be cute, but you don't stand a chance _Jessica Stanley's thoughts caught me off guard, I looked up out of curiosity, and Bella and I eyes met. She smiled a welcome smile, and waved. I didn't really know what to do, or whether or not I should just ignore her completely. _Dude, the hot new chick is waving at you! Smile or do something! Don't stare like an idiot God, you know nothing!! _Emmett's remark through off my thinking and I smiled a toothy grin, and Bella noticed. It was very peculiar, I was trying to focus in on her thoughts, but I couldn't seen to channel in on them. This has never happened before, so I thought if I stared at her more, it would come to me. I could almost smell the unwillingness as she let her brown hair cover her face, like a window, blocking her from my view. I still stared. _Why is he still staring at her? Why not me? She's not even that great. She's just new. _I knew Jessica wasn't that harmless, her thoughts betrayed her fake kindness. From what I could hear, they were discussing our family.

"Looks like Jessica Stanley is telling the horror story of the Cullens to the new girl." I told Jasper and Emmett. Alice was detached from her staring into space, and turned to me.

"Is she telling her anything worth knowing?" Rosalie glared.

"Naw, just the usual, we're psycho axe-murderers that escaped from prison many years ago " Emmett joked, and I laughed a hearty laugh. Emmett always knew how to lighten my days.

"She's just explaining that we all live together, and are together. Besides me, of course."

Alice seemed as though she was having a vision, and she looked at me, worry was flowing from her eyes. _Please Edward, don't do anything stupid. Don't jeopardize this family. _What on earth could she be talking about? We're just at school, a normal high school. With that, Alice walked to the garbage, threw out her tray, and stalked out of the cafeteria. Her thoughts troubled me, and left me wondering what was going to happen. The bell sounded, a reminder that lunch was over, I took my tray of untouched cafeteria food and put it in the trash, regrettably, I almost fell face first into the actual garbage bin. The smell was so foul, I almost gagged. I was sure if I could vomit, I would have. I wished to smell something better. Forgetting what class I had next, I had to look at my schedule, Biology. I had always liked science, I'm not sure why. It's an interesting class, and no matter what I took, and how many times I have taken it, It was always my favorite. I walked into the classroom, I was the first one in there. _Was I walking too fast? _I glanced at the clock, I was 2 minutes early. Certainly I wasn't being conspicuous, was I? I was walking at a perfectly normal speed. This day was going nearly as planned, there was barely any disabled moments as well The room started to fill up, and I noticed that the only spot left was a chair next to me. Was I that repulsive, that no one even wanted to sit next to me? Was I that out of the ordinary? The teacher walked in and introduced himself, Mr. Banner. He shut the door loudly and startled some sleepy people._ Could you be more obnoxious? Why didn't I sit over there with Edward? _Many thoughts drowned the room, I tuned them out. Just as I was trying to block out noise, the door opened with a push, and the new girl, Bella made her way in confidently with a late pass.

The next things happened quickly then. As she opened the door, a quick breeze from outside shifted past her. The sweetest smell imaginable was in the air. I buried a growl that was forming in my chest, my throat burned with an uncontrollable thirst. It smacked into my face like a ton of bricks, her scent flaming threw my nostrils. I felt my eyes go coal black, and I gripped onto the black desk with all of my might until I heard cracking. She trotted over to the only seat that was empty, the one next to me. With each step, it felt as though the fragrance repelling off her skin was going to make me go insane. She was the devil, and she was sent to this town to destroy everything for me. Everything my family has worked for. She flipped her hair and the aura became more concentrated. I stopped breathing and I looked at her with hateful eyes. Her eyes met mine and she let out a sigh.

"What's your problem? Most people I met here greeted me with pleasure when I sat next to them, but the cutest boy in school hates me? Just my luck! "

She let out a seductive giggle. Her breath trickled out of her mouth and she gave me a sly smirk. The phrase "flirting with disaster" arose in my head. I knew if she got any closer, her aroma would overcome me, and I would taste her. I knew that I was gaping at her, staring at her wide-eyed, so I voiced a disgusted groan, and looked away. She looked hurt, scared, confused.. Maybe even enraged? You should be scared, I thought. If only you knew what I was thinking of. Then I realized something else, I couldn't read her thoughts. Just like in the lunch room, I tried to focus on her, and only her. As if she timed it, as if she was a demon, summoned from hell, she flipped her hair, to reveal the nape of her neck. I almost collapsed, the longing for her blood was overwhelming, I've never experienced it before in my entire life, on the edge of my seat, I buried my face in my hands. I wasn't breathing, I hope no one would notice that. I glanced around the room, there was around 20 people. 21 including the teacher. It wouldn't take long to kill each and every single one of them, they were tiny, I would reach them before they could even scream. I would save Bella for last though. I would savor her blood wrenching scream for last, for the would be the most pleasurable. I wanted to taste her, drink every single la-No I won't! I can't think like this. I need to get out of here I glanced one last time at her, and my onyx eyes must have startled her. She looked surprised, angry. I would follow her. To her car, to her home, I will have her. No I can't! Why is she here? Why did she have to be in this Biology class? With that, the bell rang. I got up with such force, I was sure I was the first one out of the class, and at that point, I didn't really care.

I walked quickly out of Forks High School and outside. I was absolutely furious, and confused. I was relieved as I stepped outside I could breath again, I saw Bella literally skipping to her car, it was an old, beat up red truck. I think it was a Chevy, such an interesting car for a glamorous, satanic goddess. I wasn't really paying attention so the fact that I lost my balance while stepping off of the sidewalk wasn't surprising. I fell and twisted my ankle. I heard suppressed giggles coming from stuck up cheerleaders, from my fowl mood, I just wanted to smack them across the face. I stepped into my car and Jasper was already in there, waiting. I put my head on the steering wheel and let out a hushed growl.

"What's wrong with you, dude? I haven't felt this much anger repelling off you in a really long time. What, someone stab you with a pencil?"

"I need to get out of here, Jasper. I almost killed someone in Biology. I can't describe to you how delectable and edible she smelled. The fragrance coming off of her skin was enough to make me think the most irrational thoughts I could possibly think. I almost killed the entire cla-" Emmett and Rosalie interrupted me in mid sentence and opened the door. "Where is Alice?" I asked impatiently, I needed to know if this is what she saw. I needed to change it. I won't attack her. She has already left the parking lot, I couldn't possibly follow her..

Alice opened the door quickly and hopped inside. She looked at me apprehensively, seeing if I had any blood on my clothes, knowing my intentions, she probably thought I killed Bella. She knew what was going to happen, why didn't she just tell me not to go to Biology?

"Edward, I am so sorry. I truly had no idea it was going to be this bad, I didn't think one insignificant girl was going to change your outlook on Forks. Please, please don't leave " With that last sentence, and idea formed in my head. What if I did leave? Only for a few days, of course. I couldn't stay away from my family forever. Just to get away, to clear my head, or formally, my nostrils. I snickered to myself at my thoughts.

"I'm going to drop you guys off at home. Tell Esme I'm sincerely sorry but I need to get away for a while." Alice looked at me with painful eyes. I'm going to miss you every day your gone, brother. I'm going to miss them too. Yet, I cannot stay here any longer. I looked into the rear view mirror at myself. Who was this creature? I looked as though I haven't hunted in months, not 2 weeks. She would ruin me. I had to get out of that Biology class. Silently, I opened the door and scrambled on my way to the main office, even the school day was over, the people in the office were still there.

"Hello, are you in charge of the scheduling process?" I asked in a seductive, sly tone, knowing I my eyes were brooding, almost suffocating her. _Holy cow! He scared the crap out of me.. My god he is so good looking.. Too bad he's a student, I mean, I've seen on TV teachers getting hooked u- What am I thinking? He's a child! _Her thoughts almost made me shiver with disgust, she was a 40 year old woman, I'm seventeen Well, seventeen in human years anyway, if she only knew I was in my 100's, I think she would take back those lustful thoughts.

"Uh, well.. Yes, I am." She stammered at her words. Get it together, just find his schedule and see what he wants.

"I was just wondering, if I could possibly switch my Biology class to maybe a different period, I could switch it with art, if you don't mind." I twinkled my onyx eyes at her. If she wasn't so oblivious and lust struck, I would sure she would notice the change in color since this morning. Why would he want to switch out? I'm sure he wants to go into an honors class or something, the Cullens and the Hales have always been great students. Probably because I've gone through High School more times than I can count, lady. I'm marvelous at academics, and if you don't switch my Biology class, I might make a marvelous dissection of a new student

"Well, Edward is it? We actually can't switch any classes after the school starts. Principals rules, you know how it is." She winked. I wish I could take him home with me.

"Are you positively sure? If I could do anything, would it matter?" I purred, I was almost certain this would work, being a vampire did have its perks. Since humans were are more natural pray, we could seduce them into doing whatever we wanted.

"I'm really sorry, Edward. There's nothing I can do." I was getting angry, could she possibly be more useless? Ugh!

A second was all it took to change everything; the atmosphere of the room shifted, a quick breeze flew in, and a girl walked in. She was thinking and talking, as if she was talking to someone, but I couldn't hear the other persons thoughts. That one second, I knew, that the reason why I came here to switch my Biology class, was right behind me.

"Never mind, Ms. Cope, I can see that its entirely impossible" I couldn't help but sound irrationally rude, but if she knew the incomparable pain I was in right now, she would understand. The smell of Bella's blood completely saturated every single particle in the small room. I glared at her with an inhuman amount of hatred, her eyes widened significantly. My hand hesitated in front of me. The monster inside thought, I could slam her in with enough force and speed to kill her, and reach behind me to attack Bella before she would even have a chance to speak, or scream for that matter. No I could not betray Carlisle, or my family, who will know exactly what happened, waiting for me in the car. I controlled my hand and forced it down, I spun out of the room and glided out of the door, I walked to my car with far too fast for a human, and was glad there were no witnesses. I tried to control my breathing and my cursing, but I was gasping for fresh air as if I were being suffocated. A string of profanities escaped my breaths. I have to get out of here.

"Edward, are you alright?" Alice of course already knew, and I could see the arrange of visions she had seen through her thoughts. Bella's lifeless body and my eyes a crimson blood red. I would have done it.

I just shook my head, and slammed the car in reverse, I was sure I hit forty before I was out of the school parking lot. You should tell Carlisle and Esme yourself, Edward.

"No, Alice. I can't. I can't deal with being a disgrace to this family, please tell them I'm sorry."

"I'll tell them, but please, Edward. Don't be gone long, Esme especially will feel pain." I could tell she wasn't telling me out of idea, she had already seen me leave.

I allowed them to exit the car, and I waved goodbye. I needed to get out of Forks. I put the pedal to the floor. A question arose in my head. Embrace the monster? Or flea to Alaska? I would flea to Alaska, and visit the Denali clan, a good friend of ours. They don't need to know what happened, I'll just tell them I've missed them, of course. I let the car accelerate past 110, I needed to get out of Forks and there, fast.


	2. Feelings

For once, I was thankful that vampires weren't capable to sleep. I was thankful to arrive in Denali by early morning, due to my reckless driving and a sleepless night. I rang their marble doorbell, knowing that they'd be surprised to see my face, and probably a little worried since its so early.. Or should I call it late? I set my bags down, and sighed in impatience. After about 3 minutes, Tanya appeared in the doorway.

"Edward! What are you doing here? I mean, it's great to see you and all, but wow! It's so late! How are you? Is everything okay with Carl-" I cut her off at that point by sticking up my right hand nicely.

"Tanya, my dear," I kissed her cheek. "I have just missed you and your husband and other members, I'm far due for a visit. I hope I haven't come at a horrible time."

"No! It's wonderful! We're always happy to have anyone from the Cullen home, you know that Edward." She smiled a genuine smile, and I was seriously happy I came. I needed this. I needed to get away from that demon child, summoned to drive me insane. "Come on in, Edward! We're just about to go for a drive. Get your bags and just throw them in a spare room." I picked up my bags and started for the hallway. Typically, my toe caught the doorway and I fell onto my face.

_Oh crap, I forgot he was so damn clumsy!_ "I'll get those Edward, don't you worry."

"You also forgot that I was able to read thoughts." I said with a witty smirk. She looked down in shame, "No no, It's all right, I take no offense to my lack of balance," I winked.

"You really are a peculiar vampire Edward, its comical. So, why don't you tell us the real reason you came?"

I tried to hide my embarrassment, I didn't want another "vegetarian" family to know I nearly slipped up, I would be a disgrace I shouldn't tell them. But they are taking me into their home, they are always so kind to me.. They deserve to know, I suppose.

"If you must know, and if you hold this against me I'll be ashamed, it was my first day of another year of high school today, and there was a new girl. Everyone was attracted to her, I saw her in the minds of every single teenage boy in school that day, and every single thought was absolutely degrading. I didn't see the fascination, it was like shoving a piece of shiny plastic in a child's face, she was just something knew in their eyes. The first time I saw her was at lunch. Icouldn't read her thoughts in the lunch room, but from what I knew, she wasn't in any of my classes. The only class I had left was Biology, and I was eager to get this day over with, so I rushed there. Everyone was in the class, and everything seemed to be going well. I thought it was a pretty decent day, you know, for someone with my luck. Until, Bella, that's the new girls name, by the way, came into the room. I'm enable to describe to you the agony I faced trying to detain myself from killing his innocent girl. The smell repelling off her skin gave me an intoxicating feeling, it was absolute bliss, in the most horrid way." I grimaced, and I could sense the sympathy rolling off of Tanya and the others that surrounded her.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I admire your willpower, I can see how hard it must have been, we have all been in that situation before."

For some reason, I sensed they hadn't. In my years of existence, I have never, ever spelled anything so delightful, it made me sick to think about. I nodded at Tanya and headed upstairs to my room. It smelled of pine trees and new shoes, a smell I had forgotten since the last time I visited, they always have the same stench in their home. Its not bad, its just, the known smell of the Denali clan to my nostrils. I sprawled out in the bed and sighed, it felt good to relax. I felt guilty thinking this, but it kind of felt good to be away from my family, I needed a break from Forks horribly, and everyone knew that. Especially Rosalie, her pigheaded ways were getting to me.

I spent two days hunting and relaxing in Denali before my first phone call. My vibrating cell phone seemed to be gawking at me, telling me that I'm a coward, and I'm a disgrace to the Cullen name for not being in Forks. Reluctantly, I picked up my phone.

"Hello?"

"Edward? Oh honey it's so great to hear your voice! Carlisle and I have been worried sick about you! We forgive you Edward, we miss you, please come home."

Esme. I thought, at least someone cared. "Mom, I miss you too. I love you, and I'm so sorry that you've been worried, I'm not worth the trouble, I promise. I'm going to leave in about an hour, and I'll be home in the morning."

"Thank you so much, dear. Will you be going to school again? Alice told me about the circumstances at school. I'm so sorry you had to endure that."

I grimaced. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I had to go back to school eventually. "I think so Mom, I don't know, I really need to talk to Alice when I get home, I have quite a few questions."

"Okay, hurry home. Please."

I could hear the begging in her voice, I hated hurting her, I really needed to get home, fast. "I will, Goodbye. I love you." I hung up the phone, and unplugged the charger from the wall and stuffed it into my bags. Time to go, I thought to myself. I did miss my family now, even Rosalie. _I guess he is leaving. It was really nice seeing him again... I wish he has better luck at school._ I heard Tanya down the hall. I smiled to myself, and left the room.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here Tanya, I owe you greatly, and I appreciate your kindness so much."

"Edward, its been a pleasure." She kissed my cheek and opened the door, I stammered out, praying not to fall. I really was happy that I visited, I missed them way too much. I must tell my family to visit more often. With that, I was off. I jumped into my car in a hurry to get home, in respect to my family. I guarantee they will be upset with the lack of communication. I started my car quickly, and accelerated down the road.

I stopped almost halfway back to Forks for a quick hunting break. Three does were awaiting to be pounced on. I crouched into position, the smell of fresh meat tingled in my nostrils and sent a burning sensation into my throat and down my chest. Hunting was clearly a good thing to do right about now. The doe caught me in its peripheral vision and decided to run. _Ha, good. I always like a challenge._ I ran as fast as I could, easily catching up and tackling the doe to the ground. I sank my teeth into its jugular and almost moaned in pleasure. I killed almost five deer before I felt satisfied. I leaned against a nearby tree and hit my head against it. I hate the feeling I always get after I hunt. Sinful, guilty, I feel like a monster. I looked back at my prey, and I thought I was get quesy with regret. I hated being a monster, I hated killing innocent animals, just so I could go on with my meaningless exsistance. Would I ever come to terms with being this uncontrollable beast? Probably not, but if I never came back from my rebellious years, I would still be in Chicago, feasting on humans. I wanted to shun the monster for the amount of shame I had for myself.

I sensed it was getting late, the sun was nearly not visible, I cleaned myself off in a running stream. I ran to my silver Volvo, and started the ignition. I accelerated until I was almost going 120 MPH, opened my window, and let the cool breeze hit my face. My hair was blowing in the wind wildly, and I felt free. I felt thoughtless, relaxed, a feeling that wasn't exactly known to me. Within the next four hours, I arrived in Forks, I could hear the thoughts of uneasy wives doing dishes, complaining of their overactive children and husbands that would rather sit on a couch with a beer, than helping her with housework. I sighed, I sometimes wish that someone of my kind would come along and be great for me. The truth is, I don't think I was comparable to anyone. _Edward Cullen, the shy, clumsy vampire._ That would attract a whole lot of people. I laughed an uneasy laugh, I would never be comfortable with myself. What kind of boy am I? Well, vampire, whatever. I should be confident, maybe a football player, be able to chat my way and get any girl I wanted. Therefore, I was an outsider, even in my own family! Jasper and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme, oh, and then Edward!

I arrived at my home at around 10 o-clock. I was prepared for atleast eighteen rounds of question and answers, punches in the arms, kisses, hugs, the whole nine yards. Not to mention probably a few stammers and falls in between the awkward hugs and embraces.

"Edward! I've missed you so much!" Alice was the first person to realize I came in. I tried to make myself silence, to limit the attention. _I'm so glad he's home, if he only knew how much Esme has been moping._

"I'm sorry Alice. I've missed you too. I hope nothing important has happened since I've been away. We really need to talk, when you get the chance, meet me in my room."

"Edward! Where have you been? Well I know where obviously, but oh! I've missed you!" I wasn't as prepared for Esme's reaction as I was for Alice's. When she lifted her small arms to hug me I flinched so horribly that I almost hit my head on the back of the wall. _I wonder what's been going on. I'm going to have to talk to you later, Edward. Please?_ I nodded in embarrassment. I hated these silent conversations. Just another altercation I had with being a vampire. _Oh finally, he's back. He just needed a little attention probably, too bad. I'm going to miss the attention I've been getting._ Rosalie must be in the room; I rolled my eyes and turned around. There she stood, her obnoxious beauty overtaking me.

"I've missed you too Rosalie!" I knew she would hear the sarcasm in my voice, and I allowed her to anger to surface before I turned around and left the room.

I opened my creaky door, trying not to disturb anyone in the next rooms. I turned on my light and almost screamed when I saw a figure sitting on my bed. A statue like figure resting comfortably on my cotton sheets, only when I saw Alice's pixie like hair did I realize it was her. I sighed in relief.

"Jesus Edward, if I knew you were such a little baby I would have waited until you got here to visit you!" I missed Alice's joking remarks about the amount of a coward I am. I gleamed with humor, and smacked her on the side of the head. She giggled, and motioned for me to sit on the bed. She took a deep breath, and I knew she had big news for me. "Edward, I need you to know, before I tell you anything, anything you would have done the day before you left, none of us would have judged you. We all know what you went threw, well, at least I do. I saw you in Biology, I saw you driving to her house, I saw you following her to her car, I watched you sin-" I needed to cut her off before I saw too much in her mind. I haven't thought about what I was going to do about this situation, and I suppose it's time that I talked about it.

"Alice, if you had any idea how much self control I needed that day, how much I needed to overcome, not to kill every single person in that room, just so I could taste her blood. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really, truly don't. I need your help. I'm a coward, I shouldn't have ran away, but I didn't know what else I would do. I think if I stayed here, I would have crept to her house," I cringed at my remarks. "I would have had every last drop of blood from her body, and left her lifeless there on the bed, floor, wherever she was. Her father would be heartbroken, as her mother. I can't allow myself to do that. I don't know what I'm going to do in order to teach myself not to let this monstrosity evolve out of myself!"

"I think I have an idea Edward. It's not fully thought out, but it could work. Talk to her, get to know her. I don't care if you need to skip the first 3 periods of school in order to go hunting, get to know her. You will see that she has friends, a family, and how much she has going for her. I know for a fact you're caring, you have a heart. You will overcome this, I know you will."

I liked the idea of this, I did. I just didn't know what to say to her. To be truthful, she was very pretty. I'm not used to talking to pretty girls. I'm not used to talking to girls at all. What! I'm not used to talking to ANYONE, at all. "Alice, thank you. I'm going to need some help as to what to say. I'm going to get scared. She is very pretty." I knew if I could have, I would have blushed. I felt so uncomfortable talking about attractiveness and sexuality with my family. I'm so inexperienced. Alice made a face that made me realize she knew other things. She seemed like she already knew what I would say, what she would say, and what would happen after that. "Alice, what _else_ have you seen?"

"Edward, I know this is going to sound unrealistic, and impossible, but I've seen you guys in a small meadow, alone together." The idea of being alone anywhere with Bella, made the demon inside jump with hunger. I didn't like the idea of being alone. I wasn't sure at all if I had enough control for this. I was so unsure about everything about this. "I've also seen some, well, rather peculiar things. You guys are in between two cars. The cars seem to be crushed; she looks hurt, almost bleeding." The emphasis on the word bleeding puzzled me. How could I ever be close to Bella when she is nearly bleeding and not kill her?

"Alice, this is impossible. I don't know how you can see this, I could barely sit in the same room as her. Touching her? Being alone with her? This is absolutely out of the question! How could I even possibly think of such an idea?" Alice shrugged. "Is there anything else, Alice?"

"No Edward, I will tell you whatever I see, as long as it has something to do with Bella."

Alice got up uneasily and made her way to the door. Before she could make her way out, I thanked her. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. I love my entire family, but Alice is my best friend. I slid off my sneakers, and lay down on my bed. I sighed, and again wished that I could just drift off into a dreamless sleep. I hated the fact that I could just think about things all night, I could think about things that I don't want to think about, I could hear things that other people didn't want to think about! The word thinking is an overused word in my mind. I can hear people's thinking, and all I do is think! Maybe if I talked more, I wouldn't think as much.

Before I knew it, the grey sky appeared to be lit up in the littlest way. I could tell it was morning. I threw on a button down shirt, and a pair of comfortable jeans, slid on my shoes, and glided out of the room. My family was waiting patiently in the kitchen, when I appeared around the corner, everyone sort of stopped talking. Apparently, they must have been talking about me. _I didn't even hear him! Crap! I wonder if he heard what we were saying._ Alice was up to something, as usual. I gave her the evil eye and looked in the mirror. Sufficiently decent, I reminded myself that I was appealing to the human eye; it would make talking to Bella easy.

"You ready for your big day Edward? You're a natural ladies man!" Emmett, of course he would make fun of me about this. Alice just needed to tell everyone. There were no secrets in this household. I grimaced and walked towards the door. _Why is everyone making such a big deal about this human bitch? I should be getting all the attention from my husband, but all he seems to be talking about is Edward's soul mate, the human girl._ Excuse me? Did Rosalie just say soul mate? I knew Alice wasn't telling me something! Is this what happened when people fall in love? First, the want to suck their lovers blood, kill them with your own bare hands and teeth, leave them breathless and motionless on the ground? I was sure I wasn't falling in love with Bella. So why was I thinking of her so much all of a sudden? She was a human, she wasn't an equal power to me. It wouldn't be fair to love her. I was infatuated by the scent of her, that was for sure.

"Hurry up, guys. I don't want to be late." I told Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper. Jasper was just coming around the corner, looking hungry. I felt sorry. I wish it would be easier for him. I wondered if every human appealed to him as Bella did to me.

"Oh, I'm sorry Edward! I don't want to be keeping you away from your edible mate. Oops!" Rosalie's vile tone made me angry. I just wanted to get to school, for many reasons actually! One just happened to be to talk to Bella. I tapped my foot anxiously. They took the hint, and Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie glided out the door.

"Have a good day everyone! Be safe!" Esme's genuinely nice personality shown threw her petite face. She was a great mother.

"Be careful driving, Edward! Have a good day!" I had a feeling Carlisle's careful wishing wasn't only for my driving. I would need luck today, wishful thinking, and a miracle to be able to talk to Bella.

My car was a little cooler than usual, Winter was coming soon, more than likely I would be digging out my winter jacket, even though I could walk around in a t-shirt and not be harmed by the weather. Our body temperatures remained the same regardless of weather patterns. The engine ignited with life, and I was off. Today was going to be interesting, in the least. I was overanxious, driving even faster than normal. That wouldn't escape the notice of one of my family members, they would need to say something comical about my over excitement to get to school. Of course, I was the joke of this family. We arrived at school early; I parked near the picnic tables, which wasn't in our usual spot, under the trees.

"Why are you parking over here, Edward? Is this where Bella goes?" Emmett mocked my choice of parking, and I snickered with sarcasm. It was only then, I realized that an old, red truck was next to me. _Yes, _I thought. _This is where she parks._ I got out of the car reluctantly and hesitatingly, I almost fell, which was typical, but I caught myself. _Good luck, Edward. She will like you though._ Alice's thoughts made me smile intensely. Why was I so happy that she would like me? She was a human; she would be scared of me once I shined my ultra white, capable of murder teeth at her. In the back of my mind, I was wishing Alice was right. I knew it wasn't deserved, I knew I shouldn't, but I did. My wishful thinking was in vain, it wasn't for the best. It was only for my happiness. It was only then I realized that the beast inside of me was not rising, not even on the surface. I was no longer thinking of Bella in that way, which was strange, because only a week ago, was I thinking of her as my next meal.

I heard the minute bell sound, and walked speedily toward my homeroom. _Oh, he finally arrived. I thought he got cocky and dropped out of high school, he gets straight A's. What's the point of coming? It's not even a challenge anymore_. My homeroom teacher was more than likely awaiting my return, I was curious though; did anyone else wonder where I was? Did Bella miss me?

English and Math passed by with an unusual speed. Lunch was too ordinary, repetitive. I sat down with Alice after I got myself an apple I would never eat.

"How are things going, Edward?"

"What do you mean?" I haven't even seen Bella today, and I let my eyes scan prudently around the lunchroom. I couldn't pick her out of a croud.

"Did you see what Bella is wearing today? She looks good enough to eat, no pun intended." Emmett feels the need to make a joke out of absolutely everything, even the fact that I could have a crush on my next meal.

"No Emmett, I haven't. I'm not exactly looking for her either, I'm just going with the fl-" I was cut off by a shortening of breath. I saw Bella, she really did look absolutely breath taking, almost painfully beautiful. Besides the fact that she smelled absolutely delicious, she was gorgeous.

"Ah ha! You do have a penis! I knew it! I knew you couldn't be that incoherent, anyone with half of a brain would think she was hot!" With that, Emmett got a very large slap in the face; I felt pity for him, knowing Rosalie's hand felt like a ton of bricks. _I swear to god Edward, never even let me near that girl. I will make her life a living hell, she is nothing compared to me, or any of us, a mere human._ Rosalie's words were full of self hatred and envy. She was jealous of Bella's mortality, and her natural beauty. She was exotic, not the "tall thin and blonde" type of beauty Rosalie was. I made a confused yet understanding face at Rosalie and she nodded, I had no idea what she was capable of, I would never let Bella get close to her.

Lunch was over in a hurry, and I already knew before looking at my schedule what class I had next; Biology. The class I once dreaded, I now almost looked forward to. I would have to get enough courage to talk to Bella. I started to think about what I could possibly say, without horrifying her.

I walked into the Biology room in a tentative manner, I was nearly shaking. When I got into the room, Bella was already there. Her scent hit my nostrils, and every fiber in my body just as hard as the first day. I nearly had to hold my breath to keep a groan from escaping my lips. _Keep it together, Edward._ I did. I saw Bella leaning over the desk talking to Mike Newton, her seductive smile and whispers brought back a feeling I don't think I've had since I was human. Jealousy, a twinge of rage built in my chest, and for a second, I ignored the fact that I longed for her blood, and I just wanted to take her away from that vile character, I knew he was thinking aphrodisiac thoughts about Bella, and I couldn't stand the fact that she was being disrespected and didn't even know it. The teacher slammed the door, and Bella turned away from Mike Newton. Mike Newton checked out her well defined assets as she walked away, and it made me shake with anger. Bella finally saw me sitting down, and she almost jumped. She smiled a genuinely happy smile, and walked towards her chair, which was apparently still right next to mine. I took a deep breath, knowing that with every breath I took, her alluring scent would intoxicate my mind, filling my thoughts with unwanted things.

"Well, hey! I thought you fell off the face of the earth! Welcome back to Biology, lab partner!" Bella was absolutely gleaming, her cheeks were a scarlet red, blood beating past her veins, I could hear her heart quicken as she followed my eyes up and down her body.

"My name is Edward Cullen, I don't think I got to introduce each other last week, but you're the new girl right? Bella Swan?" I tried to sound like I didn't already know the answer to this question, if she knew I was practically stalking the thoughts of people around her to get information about her, I was almost positive she would run away.

"You got my name right! I already like you, yeah, I'm Bella. Formally known as Isabella, but be warned, call me that and I might just be forced to kick your butt." She smiled a glorious crooked smile and I did the same. I could hear her heart quicken and her pulse go wild. I mentally smiled at the fact that I had this affect on Bella already; it made me a little more confident. I hated the fact that I couldn't read her mind, I didn't know what she thought about me, and I wanted to know. I needed to know.

"Well, I'm observant enough to know not to call you that now," I laughed and she looked smiled. Her eyes looked a warm, deep brown. I could tell that she was deep, even behind her confidence; I could tell she was hiding behind insecurity. "So, why did you move here?" She seemed alarmed at my question. Was this not a normal question to ask? I kicked myself for being so forward; I probably messed up anything that could have potentially been happening.

"What" She seemed confused, and then thought for a second. "Oh, I get what you're asking. Well, you see, my mom fell in love with some guy that sucks at baseball. Phil, thinks that he's going to get somewhere playing baseball, and moves around with his team. I'm so effing sick of moving around, so I came here to live with Charlie. Hey, does it ever get sunny here?"

"Why don't you just move around with them? And no, sadly it doesn't. You're not going to have enough sun around here to work on that tan of yours, but at least you have rosy cheeks." I winked at her and smiled. Her heart fluttered and I could see her hesitating for her words.

"All I did was complain about moving, because as soon as I made friends, I would just have to say goodbye to them, and I would rather see my mom happy with Phil, than miserable with me, so I just said that I'd move in with my dad." She seemed sad by this; I knew it went deeper than that, once again, I wished that I could read her mind. This got me a little frustrated. "Oh, and hey! Don't make fun of my forever flustered cheeks; you should see me when I'm embarrassed." I thought the blush on her cheeks was absolutely marvelous, I thought she should know. Not only did her blood make me baffled, but her beauty was so different, she wasn't like all of the other humans, she was confident, but not cocky. She must be smart, if she's in Biology Honors. She swept the hair beyond her face and her scent blew around me, and I was absolutely disoriented for a moment. I gathered my thoughts together and spoke once more.

"I actually think the blush on your cheeks is lovely." She blushed even more. My intent to make her blush more was easily done. She looked down in embarrassment and I laughed a musical laugh. She looked up in awe, and I wanted to reach out and touch her face in the slightest way. I knew I couldn't of course, I knew that I could never show the fact that I was infatuated by Bella in every single way, not only did I yearn for her blood, every single thing about her invites me in.

"Well wow, thanks! The paleness on yours is awesome, I love pale people. You have really nice skin, I've got to say, I bet you've never even had a pimple. I'm pale, but I have a few freckles, so I look weird. I don't like it." I think she realized she was babbling, and she let her hair fall in her face and looked at the brown tiles on the floor. "I'm sorry, that was random, and babbling. I babble when I get nervous. I never even get nervous, so be honored." I wondered what she was really thinking, why she was nervous. C ould she possibly be attracted to me? How could such an innocent, beautiful girl be attracted to a monstrosity like I? If she only knew how she made me feel, bubbly, I felt like I had butterflies gnawing on the side of my stomach, and I believe if my heart could beat one last time, it would be.

"It's okay, I understand. I wash my face all the time to get this flawless masterpiece, believe me." Where is this coming from? I haven't washed my face in almost 90 years! A masterpiece? I wasn't close to it; I only hoped that Bella would think that about me. She giggled, and it was positively angelic, I made it a point to make her laugh more.

"I actually believe that. You know, Edward, you really stick out here. Not only do you have godlike beauty, but you're sensible, you haven't even tried to hit on me yet! I'm going to have to keep on talking to you." The fact that she wanted to talk to me more made me glow with happiness. I could tell she could see this, because she smirked her seductive smile, and my mind was in a daze. Her scent, her smile, her laugh, all of it was ravishing, her very presence intoxicated me. The bell rang, and I cursed in my mind. If only I could talk to her a little bit more, I wish that I could get to know her more. How could I do so?

"It was nice to talk to you Bella, I hope to talk to you soon." That was the biggest understatement of the century; I wanted to spend every waking moment talking to her, taking her in, every cell in her body.

"Same to you, Edward, I'm glad you didn't act like I was the plague today." She smiled a lasting smile. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get that out of my head. She whirled around and glided out of the room. She was graceful, beautiful, and delightful. Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball once again when she spiraled, her hair in the wind, she smelled of freesia, somehow. It made me absolutely ravenous; it occurred to me that I could never possibly harm such a wondrous creature. I wouldn't allow myself to ever do such a thing, no matter how close I get to her. Even if she never talked to me again, if she ran away the first time I tried to talk to her alone, I would allow it. I would always want Bella to be happy. Only then did I realize I was still in my Biology room. I quickly got up and made my way for the door. My toe got caught on the doorstopper, I tripped, and my books spilled everywhere. I quickly restacked them, and walked down the corridor. I finally got to my car, and my family was clearly getting impatient. I opened the door and all of the mumbling stopped. _Finally, what the hell were you doing in there? Eating her?_ Even the thought made me angry, how could I ever even plan to hurt her?

"Jesus Edward, what were you doing in the school for so long?" Alice asked, almost scared. Did she see something else?

"Nothing, nothing of importance, don't worry. I just sort of spaced out and didn't realize the bell rang, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I was just getting worried." _Don't worry, I didn't see anything bad happening. I just thought that you got in trouble or something._ I nodded and smiled. I knew I had no potential of wronging Bella.

"So, Edward, did you talk to the chick?" Jasper actually spoke up, and Alice and Emmett kind of looked at him like he was a little insane. "Well, it's just, I can sense a different characteristic coming off from you right now, and I didn't even know if you were able to show that characteristic, being you." Of course, Jasper, you charismatic thing, you see, Jasper, my brother can sense the mood your in, he can make a sad person happy, an anxious person relax, and so on.

"Well, what do you sense?"

"Are you…" He hesitated and looked at Alice, she nodded and looked at me. The gesture didn't escape my eyes and she saw that. "Do you love someone?"

"I.. I.. I don't think so.. I mean, I talked to Bella today, not only is she outstandingly good looking, she's smart, funny, and easy to talk to. You know how I'm shy with everyone, I felt comfortable with her, it was amazing."

"Don't forget the fact that you vant to sack her blaaaad!"

"Emmett, I swear to god, I'm going to kill you someday."

"Oh come on Edward, be reasonable, you're either going to kill her, change her, or have to break up with her someday."

"I never really thought about it that way, Emmett. Don't be so pessimistic about it."

"Edward, the negative nancy, telling ME to not be pessimistic? That's a first."

"A lot of things have been firsts for me today, Emmett."

"From what I'm seeing, Edward, this is going to be a start of something beautiful." Alice's remark made me happy; I could hear gagging noises coming from Emmett's mouth. I punched him in the arm, and he shut up.

"Oh please, gag me. The girl is nothing special Edward." Rosalie has a really big problem with Bella already, and she hasn't even been introduced. This is bad.

"Rosalie, come on, give the girl a chance. Judging by my visions, she seems genuinely cool." I laughed at Alice, if she only knew how much more special she was. _Edward, I think you're falling in love with her. I've never seen you like this! Oh, it makes me so happy._ Alice's thoughts made me weary, what if I really am falling in love with her?

When I got home, Alice called Esme and Carlisle into her room for an important meeting, I heard a lot of "Oh my goodness's!" and "Thank god's!" and "Awww's!" This can't be good. I hated the fact that Alice knew more about Bella and I than I did. I also didn't like the fact she wasn't telling me any of it, I hated secrets, and they weren't something I was used to. _Edward, listen! I also saw you watching her as she slept, you weren't planning on doing anything, you were just watching, smiling._ An idea arose in my head, I could indeed watch her sleep, I could watch her angelic features. I would see the concave of her chest move steadily up and down with the repetition of her breathing patterns.

That was the first night I watched Bella Swan sleep. She actually sleep talks, so it was more interesting than watching any normal person sleep. Truth is, I don't think Bella is normal at all. She is extraordinary in every single way. She spoke about it being "too green" here, an "alien planet." It was unquestionably the cutest thing I have ever watched. I made a note in my mind to come here more often. I truly felt like a bad person, because I was watching someone sleep. A creep, a lurker of the night. Bella would slap me if she ever was woken up, and saw me sitting on her rocking chair, watching attentively. All of that didn't matter, the monster within me didn't matter, the fact that right now, I could have her, she wouldn't have time to scream, and she smelled absolutely delicious. None of that mattered to me right now, I just wanted to watch her, because she fascinated me. The question Jasper asked me today was in the back of my mind. The memory was at the edge of my thoughts, "Are you in love with anyone?" The answer was yes, yes I am.


	3. Angel

It was nearly 5 o clock when I left Bella's house, I knew I should have been getting home because I heard Charlie's police cruiser easing steadily out of the driveway. _I wish I didn't need to leave her home alone, I know Forks is small, but who knows what could happen._ He wouldn't have a clue, but I would never let anything harm Bella. The more I watched her, the more human traits were beginning to unfold in my brain. I wasn't used to feeling this way, the bird's seemed to be chirping higher, the grass seemed to be greener, and if I wasn't going to be questioned of my sanity, and or fall on my face, I would more than likely be skipping through the trees. Before I could possibly think of any more reckless actions, I continued running to my house. I'm sure my family would have many, many questions and interrogations for me.

_Where the hell are you Edward? I thought you'd be here right now. I saw you at her window, you looked at peace. I've never seen you happier._ Alice's thoughts were true, I don't believe I remember being in a happier mood than I was watching Bella's restful night.

I approached the marble steps to our house and took a deep breath, _here goes nothing_, I thought to myself. I opened the door quietly, an action that was obviously ignored, any sound I made would have been heard by my family's sensitive ears. I peered through the kitchen and the living room before I noticed anyone, I realized that Jasper was in the dining room, reviewing his schedule for school.

"Hey Edward, what's up? Usually you're in your room at night, blasting some woe-is-me music, where were you?" _Your radiating happiness and fear throughout the room. Is that love, again too? Second time this week Edward, watch out._

"I.. Well, I was at the Swan house." I looked down in shame, knowing that my whole entire family was eavesdropping on our conversation, and a whole other set of questions would be heading my way, in their minds and out of their mouths.

"Bella's house? A midnight snack, Edward?" Jasper chuckled lightly, he usually wasn't a jokester, but obviously my lovesickness has been giving everyone in the house a reason to laugh.

"No Jasper, I was watching her sleep, for your information."

_That is by far the creepiest shit I've ever heard, you are a sick freak! To think I was supposed to be made for you, it honestly makes me shudder!_ Rosalie let out a sadistic laugh, I knew she would be just waiting for me to get home, with a slew of antagonizing remarks about my choices lately.

"My, my, my Edward. If I didn't know you so well, I'd think you'd have a video camera as well! I mean, she is so great, isn't she? Her worthless life and clumsiness, its just so.. So _sexy_." _You don't even deserve to be in this family right now Edward, she isn't even one of our kind. How could you put our secret in danger? Ever word you speak to her creates more havoc._

"Rosalie, please. Understand my intentions were nothing like what you think they are. I truly think she is a wondrous being, I had no intention of getting closer to her, I swear. Can't I admire her from a far? I would rather act in a masochistic way, marveling at her natural beauty."

"How could you even say that Edward? She isn't one of us! She's absolutely nothing, why can't you see that? If you have no intention of changing her, then you shouldn't even be looking at her, let alone marveling at her!" _If you really want her that bad, bite her. We all know you want to, you know you do too. I bet you couldn't, I bet you would drain her of every last blood cell in her body._

"Rosalie, please! Stop being so condescending, I would never, ever question her mortality, I would never doom her to the same fate as us. I have the slightest idea that you wish you were in her shoes, even with your beauty, it's only skin deep, your self hatred beams in your mind, no matter how gorgeous you are, you want to be human. You know that Rosalie."

"It doesn't matter what I want Edward, I'm stuck this way. I'll cherish the great looks I have for all of eternity. While we're on the subject, are you planning on changing her?" _Wouldn't you want every single flaw in her to be corrected? Wouldn't you want to bond physically? Aren't you a man at all?_

"I would never damage her soul, I would never damn her into the solitudes of hell."

"Oh Edward, your nice remarks touch me, they really do."

"You don't fool me for a second Rose, you can throw the punches, but can you take them? What if you were in my position, if you found Emmett, alive and well, would you be able to damn him to this life? Knowing what we go through, knowing our limits? Would you condemn him to this? Or more, would you even be able to ignore him? The way his blood called for you, the way he made you feel, would you be able to hurt him? Ignore him?" _Stop Edward, please._ "Oh shut it, please. Are you trying to tell me you wouldn't even have the slightest idea of talking to him, reaching out to him one way or another?"

"It's not the same Edward, it isn't. Emmett was made for me, he was about to die!"

"Certainly if he wasn't, would you have ignored the fact that he would be dazzled by your awe-inspiring beauty? If he came up to you, tried to pick you up, would you shoot him down? No. You wouldn't. You know you wouldn't be able to resist it, just as Carlisle with Esme, and the same for Alice and Jasper!"

In the midst of our fight, I didn't even heard the sounds of our family coming down the stairs, as I turned, I realized we had quite the audience. _Wow, Edward. I didn't even know you had it in you, and against Rosalie! The biggest bitch in the universe, I'm proud to call you my brother_. Alice was on my side, or at least wasn't going to harp on my back for my decisions. I could feel the calming sensation in my body, I thanked Jasper for that threw the eyes. I could hear the concerning thoughts of Esme and Carlisle, wondering exactly my reasoning for staying the night at Bella's household. My intentions were nothing preposterous, not at all promiscuous, even if it were possible.

"Edward, dear, I think that a family meeting is in place." _I'm so sorry Edward, how could you get yourself into this situation? Is she pretty? I hope she's worth this. _Esme was trying to be nice, as usual. Her compassionate loving ability's were perfect as a mother. Not so perfect as a administrator.

"Alright, Esme. I understand, shall we go to the living room?"

"Yes, yes that sounds delightful."

Delightful wasn't the right word at all, I was hoping to put off this conversation until I actually knew how to explain myself. I don't even know how I feel, so how am I supposed to illustrate it to the rest of my family?

"Esme, Carlisle, Alice, I hope you at least will understand. My hopes are that you, Emmett, and Jasper, will at least hold your breaths, don't say ridiculing things, for right now anyway. My last hope, in vain, of course, is for you Rosalie, I'm hoping that our conversation held its own, put yourself in my shoes." I glanced at Emmett, and back at her, "Look at it from my perspective."

"Well, okay Edward. Enough of the disclaimers, what's going on?"

Carlisle was eager to get something out of me, he has been very busy at the hospital, we've barely had any time to speak about anything.

"Carlisle, Esme, the choices I am making, the thoughts I am consuming in my brain, I want you to know, it has nothing to do with you. Your upbringing was nothing but the best, and I love you both like my true parents. I believe that I am infatuated with a young human girl. Her name is Isabella Swan, she is a junior at my high school. I would have rather used the word love, but I don't know exactly how to word my feelings. This girl makes me feel different than anything I've ever known, human or vampire. In all my existence, never have I saw anything more extraordinary, or smelled for that matter, not only is she a gift from the gods, a scent so maddening, it makes me feel drunk. I cannot read her mind, and the way she carries herself, the way she speaks, everything about her makes me want to know more. I know you all have been in love before, but I haven't. I don't know the slightest bit of how to talk to her, approach her, knowing me, I'd fall on my face trying to walk with her. I'm deeply sorry for putting this family endanger, I just don't know if I could ever ignore her."

Six eyes ranging from topaz to ocher were staring intently at my now mortified face. I never meant to say so much, but by the looks of their gaping mouths, I could tell it was more than they could stomach. They weren't prepared for hearing my intentions, the noble, loving way I longed for Bella.

"Er.. Well, I guess that changes things Edward. I believe that it's almost time for school, go get ready, but you need to make me a promise. I need you to promise for right now, for today, you won't talk to Bella, I know its going to seem impossible, but please, try your hardest. For the sake of this family, please."

"Carlisle, believe me, I will do whatever in my power to stay away from her, I will not associate with her, until we have figured out this situation." I don't know how I could possibly do it, I don't know if I could handle being in the same room with her, let alone being inches away without letting me gaze into her deep chocolate brown eyes. I wanted to share my secrets, all of them. The fact that I could think so irrational shook my insides, I knew if I had a pulse at all, it would be overheard by every person in the world.

"We'll be in the car, Edward. Don't be too long." _I'm sorry, it will get better. I promise you'll talk to her soon._ The fact that Alice, a person who could sense and see the future, told me that I would speak to Bella made me ecstatic.

I jumped to my feet and dashed up the stairs, nearly knocking down two vases on my quick haste. I threw on a t shirt and a pair of khaki's, sock, and my favorite moccasins, which are the most comfortable thing while sloshing threw the mucky rain. I glided through my room, in constant motion, trying to quicken this process, knowing that this could be the longest day of my life.

We reached the school with seconds to spare, and I knew that fact wouldn't escape my family's minds.

"Thanks for the ride Edward! Maybe next time you'll actually get us here on time!" Rosalie's bitterness rolled off her tongue in waves, she was lucky she was a girl, I wished not so I could knock her lights out. Truthfully, I knew I would lose to her, girl or not. Her grace and poise would knock out my awkwardness and disabilities any time of the day.

"No problem, Rosalie." I winked at her. I was never exactly a natural at being a cruel person, I didn't have the heart.

I made my way towards the front of the school, and with my misfortune as usual, the one person I was trying to avoid, cut me off at the door. Bella was wearing a baby blue sundress, even with the negative degree windshield, she was like a sunray, shining all of our days. If she only knew how gorgeous she looked, how the way she walked, the smooth paces of her ballet slippers, everything about her was entrancing.

"Excuse me Edward, do you mind letting ladies go first?" Isabella Swan was talking to me, and I had no other choice but to nod and walk away. If I could phrase to you how much I wanted to reach out for her, the want was excruciating, and the fact that I couldn't talk to her, only made me want to converse with her more. I nodded once, and held the door after she was more than three steps ahead of me.

_Don't even think about it Edward, please, please think of the safety of our family. All will be well if you just cooperate for a little while._ Alice's thoughts feet away from me, almost meant nothing to me as I watched the person I wanted most inch away from me. She peered behind her, he brown hair swaying in her paces, she looked sad. I wondered if she was affected by my actions, the fact that I couldn't talk to her, I wondered if it altered her mood whatsoever.

My sentiments were cut off by the homeroom bell, so I slid into my room with seconds to spare. Curious eyes wandered to my entrance, I was never late. _I wonder what he was doing, checking himself out in the mirror? I know I would be._ Girls thoughts were sickening me, the fact that they couldn't look beyond skin, they didn't know me at all, yet they were judging me. I let out a sigh.

"Edward, is everything okay back there?" The teacher asked in a mask of serene curiosity and concern.

"Yes, everything is peachy. Thank you for asking." It seemed as though every single person turned around when I spoke. _I didn't even know he had a voice! Let alone it being so.. So sexy!_ I never really did talk to anyone in my homeroom. Now that I thought about it, I didn't really talk to anyone in school at all, besides my family. Bella was the only person I've ever been interested in making conversation with. Conversation wasn't the only thing I wanted to share with Bella, though.

Bella's POV (I don't know if this is going to be good.. So review! Please!)

My alarm woke me up far too early, I really needed my beauty rest. I had Biology first this day! I absolutely needed to look my best. The only person that I had a remote interest in, I was in severe doubt I had any chance with. Every single person I mentioned Edward Cullen's name to, looked at me like I had at least eighteen heads. Was I insane? Was I blind? Did anyone else see his unnatural beauty? His chiseled cheekbones and pale features that made him stick out in the most unique way? There was something almost painfully beautiful about Edward, and the rest of his family. His sister Rosalie was bound to torment any girl's self esteem, just by walking into the room. Even mine, and I'm usually comfortable with myself in any situation regarding looks, I know I wasn't exactly ugly.

I stole my bag of toiletries from my counter, and made my way to the bathroom. After looking at my hair, I figured it was utterly impossible, the haystack that resided on my head needed to be cleansed before I could even begin running a brush through it. I sighed and started the water in the shower.

While waiting for the shower to get warm, I peered at myself in the mirror. My pale complexion had no blush, for once, due to my cranky waking. It would only be so long until the flush of my cheeks would make a reappearance. My skin is clear, porcelain like, I was proud of that. My lips didn't quite fit my face, always a size too big. I was short, petite though, muscular due to my volleyball career in Phoenix, which came to an abrupt end when I made my move to Forks. Who knew that clouds and rain made people less coordinated?

The steam from the shower made the mirror foggy, I planted my lips to make a kiss mark, and giggled at my actions. _I'm so damn girly, it's disgusting._ I could smell the heat from across the room, so I decided that it was time for me to jump in

Sweltering water made my sinus's clear, loosened the tight muscles from my sore back. I would have to remind Charlie that my bed just wasn't doing the trick for me. I let the moisture hit my face, removing any stray mascara from my chocolate eyes. My body soap was slippery, but it felt good to get clean. The smell, condensed in this small shower, was almost overpowering. I removed my strawberry shampoo from its container and washed my matted hair. It took quite a while to remove the damage, but within 2 minutes, almost all of the snarls were out.

I turned down the dial, and the shower was off. I felt like someone had been watching me, not while in the shower, but sometime else. My mother always said I had eyes in the back of my head, that could see anything. The thought that someone was watching me, made me shiver. I took 2 towels and headed for my room.

I decided that conservative, yet elegant was going to be the style today. I had an array of pretty sweaters, skirts, jeans.. But that wasn't enough. I needed to impress Edward, I didn't care about anyone else. I thought about what colors brought out my skin tone, my blush especially. The baby blue dress in the back of my closet almost jumped out and smacked me in the face, it was absolutely perfect! I've never worn it before, the tags still were on it. I was happy that it could make an entrance, and maybe Edward would notice me.

I had to be realistic with myself, although I seemed confident, I had a lot of insecurities with myself. I knew I wouldn't be as pretty as some of the girls, but I was smart. Not so much in the math department, but I was a great listener, and I understood things easily. I wasn't shallow, besides the fact that I'm in love with a Greek god that I don't even know. I mean, I've talk to him once, does that matter? I slid on the baby blue sundress, and my silver balet flats. Simple, I thought. I wouldn't stick out, but maybe he would notice me for something other than my looks, something that usually didn't happen with boys. I never really had any luck with them, actually. Sure, they were bedazzled by my athletically shaped body, the way my hair cascaded down my sides, but they were never really interested in anything else. Wasn't anyone ever going to notice my wit? The way I could hold an interesting conversation? No, because boys are shallow.

I swallowed a granola bar in seconds flat, _probably a new record_, I thought to myself. I slid out the door, knowing Charlie already left. It was drizzling, so I ran to my car. I wish I could have had time to admire it, for its vintage beauty.

I listened to Claire Debussy, to ease my nerves, I knew soon I would have to face the beautiful creature who I've been thinking about for hours. The velvet smooth tone of his voice, almost broke my heart just listening to him. He was something, alright. A freaking masterpiece.

I arrived at school with seconds to spare, probably due to the fact that my truck doesn't really go past 40 MPH. I hopped out of my truck, and pulled down my now hiked up dress, _I hope nobody saw THAT one!_ I turned around to make my run for the door, when I almost stopped in my tracks. Edward Cullen was arriving at the same time I was. I wasn't going to ignore him, but I didn't want to seem too eager to see him, we've only talked once. I don't think I made that much of a great impression.

_Who was this girl, taking over my brain? Where was her confidence? What was this boy doing to me! He can't just make me melt, just because he's beautiful... pale... lanky... godlike, oh I could go on for hours_. My thoughts were cut off by the horrendous thunder, I needed to get inside, quickly! I made one more glance at Edward, he was trying to keep his balance, while trying to walk wistfully to the school door. His clumsiness didn't make him seem vulnerable, like I normally thought of when I associated the word. He made it look sweet, it was amazing, the way he could look absolutely ravishing, painstakingly gorgeous. I couldn't help but stare, as I ran towards the door.

I barely realized we were about to collide, _think of something to say! Fast!_ I cleared my throat, so I wouldn't sound whiney. I smelled myself, to make sure I wouldn't get shunned like the first day. Strawberries. _Harmless_, I thought to myself.

"Excuse me Edward, do you mind letting ladies go first?" I said in my most friendliest voice. His eyes overlooked me, I couldn't tell if he was examining me, or checking me out. I sent a sweet smile, and his topaz eyes stared into mine like melted gold. I thought I would collapse right there, he wasn't going to say anything. I knew that. Could he be bipolar? Possibly. Maybe a personality disorder? I lost my confidence completely, and I felt my face getting a dangerous shade of red.

With that, Edward nodded, and motioned me to go in.

He didn't say a word to me, didn't show any sign of interest.

I thought it would kill me to walk away from an angel.

I allowed myself one more look at him, and it didn't seem like he moved from the spot he was in before. Instead, he seemed like he was having a silent conversation with himself. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me, or looking past me. Either way, His bronze hair almost covered his eyes, and they were still smoldering, even from this far away.

I turned around reluctantly, and sulked to homeroom.

I knew I was being childish, I knew I didn't even deserve to be called a girl, but after homeroom, I skipped Biology. I went to the nurses office, and I went home.

It surprised me to realize how tired I truly was, the minute I got home, I changed, and laid down. That was the first time I dreamt of Edward Cullen. It wasn't exactly a dream, but not exactly a nightmare. Edward and I were in the woods, and he was running. I couldn't tell if he was running toward me, or away from me, because he was backwards. No matter how fast I ran, no matter how much I pushed myself to go faster, I couldn't catch Edward. I woke up with a jolt. Coincidence? Or was this a true sign from god that Edward Cullen was confirmed: out of my league.

I slept the day away, knowing that Edward's ignorance shouldn't have hurt me that much, but it did.

Edward's POV

I didn't know if Bella went home, or if she was hiding from me. But, she wasn't in Biology. I should have been happy about this, it would be so much easier to ignore her, now that she wasn't even in my reach, but I wanted to see her. I knew I wouldn't be able to make any sort of contact with her, but I could still stare at her, and marvel at her beauty.

I knew that she was sad, even without reading her thoughts, I could tell from her face, I hurt her feelings by my ignoring characteristics. I don't think she would give me another chance, not after scorning her once again, just like the first day her scent overtook me.

School passed by in a blur, I honestly don't remember half of it.

I was the first in my car, which was new. Usually I was the last. I guess my blurred surroundings made me even walk faster, without me noticing.

_Edward, you nearly made me urinate in my pants!_ Emmett was the first one to make it to my car.

"Hey, Emmett! What's up?"

"Nothin really, bro. I have to do this Romeo and Juliet packet, honestly, how many times am I going to learn about these lust struck teens until I commit suicide myself?!"

I laughed at the thought of Emmett trying to kill himself. A big brawny bear trying to kill himself off.

"I'm sorry to hear that, hey, it seems like it's going to rain tonight, wanna play some ball?"

"You know I'm always down to whoop your ass in a little bit of baseball!" Emmett rustled my hair, and I growled. I hated when he made fun of my lack of athleticism. It wasn't my fault that I injured myself and many people around me whenever I swung a bat.

Alice opened the passenger seat door, and got in, her pixie-like hair was dripping with moisture, and only then did I realize that it was pouring.

"Guys! Hurry up and go over there before Rosalie has a fit, you know how she is getting her hair wet..."

Just then, I got a glimpse of Jasper and Rosalie underneath the biggest tree in the parking lot. I had to hold in a muffled laughter. Jasper was practically throwing every single happy emotion he could at Rosalie, but she was an absolute mess of infuriated blonde hair. She caught my silver Volvo in the corner of her eyes at last, and she made a run for it.

"Get. Me. The. Hell. Out of here." She was nearly scolding me, like I was forcing the rain to ruin her hair. Did it really matter? Our hair would never change.

"Okay, okay! I'm going! Hold your horses, princess Rose." I knew I shouldn't have said that, she reacted with an automatic smack in the face. Owch.

"Ugh, you disgust me. And Jasper, stop trying to force emotions on me! CLEARLY IT'S NOT WORKING!"

I've learned one things in my existence, you never cross Rosalie. Not unless you want to receive the biggest beating of your life. I was out of the parking lot now, driving home, we drove in silence, and I was able to concentrate on the road, even with the all too familiar buzzing of my family's thoughts around me. I focused on Alice, and I looked at her questioningly. _I don't know what's going on Edward, I keep seeing cars, and there is so much yelling, and then I see you, trying to hold onto someone or something. There are dents, I think you created them. My visions aren't coming very clear, and I don't know why. I don't think it's anything big, because you keep changing your mind about it. _Whatever that could mean, I wasn't quite sure at all.

We advanced to our home in silence.

I knew I had already told Emmett that I wanted to play baseball tonight, but I missed Bella. It was unhealthy, the way I was truly enthralled in every move she could make. It made me wonder what she was doing right now, why did she leave school? Instead of going home right away, I told my family I was going to my meadow. I actually was, too.

My meadow was where I go when I needed to think. Thinking was something that I do too much, it's a part of my masochistic nature. My memory lead me to think of the last time I saw Bella. Her warm chocolate eyes, saddened. Because of me?

It was one thing to make me miserable, but I cannot take her down with me. Could she possibly be thinking of me, in the same ways I was thinking of her? Could she ever love me? I looked at my reflection in a deep puddle. The reflection barely shown, I was nothing.

Nothing but a monster.

I knew my family's wishes were for the best, but wouldn't they like to see me happy? Was I the only person in this household that couldn't love passionately? I know that my love for Bella was impossible to last, but why couldn't I be optimistic for a while?

If they knew I would never hurt her, they would understand. But how could I prove that to them? How could I prove that I would rather sentence my life, risk my life, in order to save hers?

It was beginning to get dark, it was twilight. I sighed, the sky was so beautiful during this time. I laid back, and rested my eyes. The wetness from the grass stained my shirt, and made my granite-like skin moist. The sprinkles coming from the sky, landing on my cheeks, felt remotely nice, almost cleansing.

Within the next few minutes, I decided it was time to head home, I would need to spend more time with my family, if they weren't going to notice my extended leave tonight to watch Bella. They didn't really need to know that, did they? I could always be hunting...

Apparently, Jasper and Emmett got a new video game, because they were absolutely enthralled into the television set, the wires and cables were set up to the newest set of Gamecube, and a bloody war scene was being played.

"Edward! You finally made it home, listen, Alice said there isn't supposed to be a storm tonight, so I can't make you look disabled tonight, so sorry!" Emmett's poor excuse for an insult made me laugh, he was so focused on the game, he could barely form coherent sentences. I glanced at Alice. She winked. _Tonight, I won't tell anyone. But you need to stop, Edward. Before it goes to far. I want nothing more than to see you happy, but you know this isn't right_. I knew that Alice wouldn't tell anyone, and it almost made me want to hug her tightly in a silent embrace.

I made my way upstairs to plug in some music. I scrolled down the list of CD's. I wanted something light.

Claude Debussy was the only thing that caught my eye. I popped it into my stereo, and piano music filled the air. If I didn't know any better, I could practically close my eyes and picture them orchestrating in my room. Three songs later, I glanced at my clock. 11:00 PM. Charlie would be falling fast asleep, Bella would be as well.

Slowly, I climbed out of my window and dropped onto the saturated grass. I ran, only tripping on two branches, and only getting one scrape on my hand, I finally made it to Bella's window. I climbed the dewy tree, and the window was open, like an invitation from god, it was meant to be.

Once again, she was not having a peaceful sleep, tossing and turning uncomfortably, more than likely having a nightmare. She was being muffled by her pillows, but I was almost sure she was speaking. Being imaginative, I thought I heard her say my name. I sighed, she would only be having a nightmare if she was saying my name.

My thoughts were interrupted by a jolt of her bed springs, she nearly jumped off the bed! She was talking so clearly, I thought she had woken.

"Edward, stop running! Please! I just want to talk to you!"

After she had spoken those words, I knew it was going to be impassable to ignore Isabella Swan. The way she spoke my name, made a shiver go down my spine. She thought of me, at least once.

Dream or not, she was thinking of me. If she thought of me in her dreams, optimistically, I thought she could have possibly be thinking of me when she is conscious as well.

It was enough for me to take, hearing an angel speak my name. She was beautiful in every way possible, her breath, her blushing, everything. I needed to get away, so I slid down, out of her window, and made my way home. I didn't feel the need to rush, so, to avoid any possible injuries, I slowly trudged my way home. I barely got through the front door, when Rosalie caught my eye.

"How dare you disobey this family's orders? To think, that I actually trusted you with something. Is it so hard, not to stalk her for ONE day? Is it so much to ask, Edward? Or is that little brain of yours not cooperating, has it gone south, like the rest of your abilities? Are you not able to read my thoughts either? Do you know what you could possibly do to this family? Do you eve-"

I motioned with my right hand for her to shut up, nicely of course.

"Rose, I'm sorry. Don't bicker at me, please. I'm trying to reason with myself, I'm ignoring her, just as you asked. She tried to talk to me this morning, and I didn't allow it. Does it make you happy, knowing that I'm in misery?"

"Yes, Edward. You did ignore her this morning, but did you go to her house, and watch her sleep? Yes. You did. What kind of indecent creep watches people sleep? Why aren't you normal? Why can't you be normal and find a mate that is compatible with you?"

I couldn't take any more of this, so I just walked away without saying a word. Clearly, I had lost that argument. I had nothing to stick up for, I was a fool for watching Bella sleep. It only made me grow more attached. I decided to go into Carlisle's office, and have a word with him. I knew he wouldn't have anything great to say, but I knew he wouldn't be as blunt as Rosalie. I approached his office and knocked.

"Come in, is that you Edward?" _I hope so. I feel like I haven't had any interaction with him lately._

"Yes, father. It's me. May I have a word?"

"Of course, you should know I'm here to talk, whenever you need me." _What could be troubling him now?_

"Carlisle, I'm infatuated with this girl, I can't stop myself from going to her house at night and watching her sleep, I can't stop thinking about her, and I'm putting myself in the worst kind of misery ignoring her. I'm afraid that I'm not only putting myself through it, but her also."

_My son, has finally found someone._ "Edward, I believe you have found your soulmate. I didn't want to believe it at first, forgive me for my hastiness before. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. These types of relationships, well, don't usually end well. I want you to know that you would either need to change her, or leave her. Regardless, sooner or later, one or the other." _I know you won't want to do either, Edward. But you would be forced. It's against our laws to be close to a human with them knowing our secret and not having a desire to kill them_.

"I would like to be happy, for as long as I can, please, allow me to talk to her Carlisle, I don't want to wallow away in my own pity."

"If it makes you happy, it's alright with me. I'm not saying it's alright with the rest of the family, and I'm not saying it's okay to bring her around here, or even safe. It's okay with Esme and I, but good luck with everyone else, especially, well, pigheaded Rosalie."

I nearly held in a chuckle. I knew that I could win him over somehow. His son, finally finding love, almost 110 years into his existence, a little late, don't you think?

I nodded at my father, and gave him a hug. Esme came into the room now, and she seemed to be gushing.

"I'm so glad you guys talked it out, and I'm glad he is allowing you to see her. I just hated to see you more mopey than usual, Edward." Of course, Esme would like to see me happy. "And don't listen to Carlisle! When, or if you guys get close, bring her over. I must meet this daring girl." Daring wasn't exactly the word I use to describe Bella. Angelic, delightful, warm, exotic, painfully beautiful, extraordinary, were usually the correct terms in my eyes.

I left the room after I shared another awkward hug with my parents, and laid down to rest a while, for the first time in a while, I had no idea what to expect from my family in the morning.


End file.
